At times, Red gate is a dangerous place to work.  It’s not that the volcano in the first floor meeting room erupts very often, or that the crocodiles have managed to break free from the car I managed to trick them into.  No.  Not those kind of dangers.

Let me explain.  It started innocently enough at a time of year that is all about love and giving – Christmas.  A Secret Santa event was organised and presents were happily distributed.  It was all going well up until Bart unwrapped his gift…  Even then, it wasn’t clear how the future would be changed irrecoverably.  Remind me to send a terminator back to that happy day.

Anyway, Bart’s face did light up in wonder as his foam disk firing, lazer warbling, rapid rate alien blaster was revealed.  Batteries include too – which was nice.  It wasn’t long before Bart was a force to be feared in the office.  Minor disputes were quickly and decisively settled with 10 rounds of forcefully flung foam.  Happy times were effectively over.

Shortly after, the arms race began.  Disgruntled victims sought ways to retaliate and assert their own views – new purchases were made.  Where previously Bart would enjoy a position of total control, foam rockets would ricochet back in Bart’s direction.  His dominance in the weapon’s arena was being challenged.

Soon, it wasn’t just foam rockets.  Suction pad topped darts began to penetrate the air space with deadly accuracy – Bart was forced into retreat and an eerie calm beset the office.

It was inevitable.  The cliché came true, the calm gave way to the storm and the big guns started to appear.  Now there are pump action, ball flinging implements of mayhem in the office.  Nobody is safe and prolonged battles flare up at the slightest provocation.

And then a glimmer of hope.  I’ve just found the car keys for the crocodile car.  Now lets see who gets their way…