Hypnagogic Somnambulance and SQL

I have been reading A Short History of Nearly Everything this past month. Yes, it took me a month, not because I am a slow reader, but because I typically find myself reading right before sleep and when the words begin to blur, the book falls to the floor unimpeded by any muscular reflex to latch onto it before it thuds. In fact, once in that state, that hypnagogic state between being fully awake and fully asleep, is where I find I am most creative. In the book, there are many comparisons to modern human brain sizes versus those of our hominid ancestors. The truth is, we really do not know how their brains functioned on any intellectual level other than they liked to make lots and lots of tools and traveled vast distances out of necessity on changing climate and drying riverbeds.  And we know enough about our brain to know that each hemisphere serves a purpose and can function even when the two sides are unable to effectively communicate, as with split-brain or damaged corpus callosum – http://www.indiana.edu/~pietsch/split-brain.html.   So what does one do when they realize that the two sides of their brain have reached a peaceful agreement and signed a Non-Compete clause, essentially letting the mid-conscious know that it will never be able to achieve the rare insight into Fermat’s Last Theorem but by the same token, can only vaguely appreciate the artistic merits of Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake?  It would be too easy at this point to answer, “They learn SQL and become a DBA”, but introspection tells me to let that fly.

I am pleased to see on this site, puzzles about Palindromes and SQL limericks, and the astute solutions to such challenges.  SQL is fairly easy to learn because it can do so much with so little. I can see our ancestors developing a guttural derivative, “Ooot wertclog,bloktog Fruk MutkLuk Oooahh bloktog No Gok” or “Select Axe,Stones From Bag Where Stones <> ‘Black’ ” It kind of reminds me of writing my first Zork-like RPG in BASIC. When I say “writing” it truly was that, it was not so much coding.  I can appreciate SQL’s innate simplicity and artistic merit, in the same way I can appreciate William Carlos Williams, but at the same time, its analytical capabilities has cemented it forever to business. 

The point of all of this rambling about cavemen, split-brains, and sleepwalking (wait did I mention sleepwalking yet?) is by way of introduction to myself and to future blogs where I will share my level-headed, non-split brain thoughts on all of the Neanderthal tasks and projects I, as a parenthetical (DBA), author, data analyst, “the guy with the Atari tattoo”,  and poet find myself immersed in.  Also, I drink a lot of cold beer, so I am doing a lifelong experiment on how alcohol effects my brain. So far, I am not seaing much to be overly feerful of.